Friday, September 9, 2011

Are 2 better than 1?

I'm a mother to 1.  Multiple people have tried to convince me that now is the time to have a 2nd child.  And, yes, I hear them out, but my husband has health concerns in regard to another pregnancy.  I've learned to listen to my husband! And, I've also have many people make it more than clear to me that I have a much easier life than them because I only have 1 child.

I'd really prefer to be treated as a parent instead of being marginalized because I only have 1 child.  The fact is, parenting is HARD no matter how many kids you have.  Yes, my life is different with 1 child, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm a parent. And, I realize that having multiple children adds extra craziness to life.  I obviously haven't lived it, so I really don't understand, but I can only imagine.

Recently, at the park I had a refreshing conversation with a mom that has multiple children. She was quick to include me in her circle of friends.  This mother observed that I'm a mother of 1 and ya know what she said, "I feel sorry for you because you have 1 child.  I have multiple children and all of them play together.  You are your daughter's playmate, entertainer, and everything all in 1."  I don't think this lady realizes how much this conversation meant to me.

All the sudden I had a fellow parent validating my position as a parent.  So,  I felt encouraged and refreshed. It lifted my spirits in a week of letting go and dropping my child off at preschool.  It also allowed me to  reflect on the opportunities I have as a parent.

I have a friend with multiple kids down the road.  We had an accidental meeting at the library today and I offered to bring her toddler home with me.  She needed some rest and it is always fun having a playmate for my daughter at our house.  My friend was well composed, but she has a lot going on in her life and I'm pretty sure she felt like this:

When these kids are together I see the benefits of having multiple children because there's so much laughter and joy in playing together as children.  And, then, it frees me up to get some neglected housework done!

Someday I would love to have another child, whether biological or adopted, but it isn't the right timing. So, at the moment I'll enjoy lending a helping hand to those friends that God puts in my life and enjoy the time I have with my daughter.

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